Posted in Anna Wood, Christianity

A Sense of Shame

Having a sense of shame used to be considered a good thing. It kept you from making a fool out of yourself by doing things you oughtn’t, it kept you walking the straight and narrow (at least outwardly where folks could see), it kept our talk fairly decent and our women covered. We used to be more or less governed by this and consequently most of us didn’t go around openly doing things that would bring us shame in the eyes of others.

Was this a good thing? Or, a bad thing? Both, I guess. The more important thing, for a person’s soul at least, is that he is governed inwardly by a burning desire to be pleasing to the Lord in all that he does. If a man is so governed, he has no fear of man, no compunction to please man when, by doing so, he might be displeasing to the Lord. As a society, however, having a sense of shame kept us coloring between the lines.

Where is our sense of shame? Our understanding that not all needs to be put on public display?

I know the answers, of course. I’ve studied our nations fall into immodesty and intellectually I comprehend it. Spiritually, however, I don’t. How is it that women who go to church, who profess Christ, can feel comfortable flaunting their nearly naked bodies in public (and sometimes, to some degree, in worship service) and have no shame?

Is it not embarrassing for a young lady to shed her clothing and stand nearly naked in public in a string bikini? If she went to a doctor and was asked to undress down to her underwear and not cover up with a sheet she would be incensed and, yet, this same girl can strip down even further and, because she is “covered’ by two tiny pieces of cloth that she calls a swimsuit (rather than two somewhat larger pieces of cloth that used to be referred to as unmentionables) she is alright about her nakedness.

Or this same girl (or a different one…there are lots of them who do this after all) can put on tiny, tiny shorts with a tiny, tiny blouse and head off shopping and she’s comfortable with the fact that everyone who sees her sees nearly all of her. She’s gets angry though if some guy that she doesn’t know starts leering at her or makes undue suggestions.

Let’s get real, girls: you’ve undressed for all to see, you’ve shown guys you don’t know areas of your body that ought to remain private (and what you haven’t shown, he can clearly make out due to the nature of the fabric) and now you’re gonna get mad because some guy is going to look? Right. Yeah. That makes a LOT of sense.

Come on now you’re not that unwise…are you?

If you are, or if you are simply uninformed, let me fill you in: ladies, men are visual and that they are stimulated by sight. Specifically, men are stimulated by the sight of a woman’s body. If you give them part of the picture by wearing something cut down to “there”, or cut up to “here” or very tight or sheer or hardly there at all, they’re going to complete the picture in their minds.

Do you really want men undressing you with their eyes? Do you want them lusting after you? Perhaps doing things with you (or to you) in their minds (even if it is “only” in their minds)? Do you want the picture of you half-naked (or more) lingering in their thoughts for days, or weeks, after they saw you on display?

I know the argument: men ought to be able to control themselves. You ought to be able to wear anything at all and men ought not to lust after you and you’re right. You’re absolutely right. You ought to be safe from prying eyes and from prying minds…no matter what. Men ought to control themselves…no matter what. But no matter what, it ain’t gonna happen, at least not with all guys. No matter what, there are some guys who are going to see you and they’re going to lust after you. You’re putting fuel on the fire and the fire is just getting hotter and hotter.

The truth is this: It is sin to put your body on display. When you do so, you are setting men up so that they lust after you (yes, you are). When you provoke a man to lust, girls, you’ve sinned and so has the man who does the lusting. The lost man now stands more condemned before God, the Christian man who succumbs now feels shame at his lust. By your immodesty, you might cause a man to fall back into a sin he’s struggled with (such as pornography). You might cause him to look at the body of his wife who has borne him many children and compare it to you who has borne none and judge her unfavorably. Many men will struggle with pictures of you coming to their minds for days or even weeks after they initially see you nearly undressed.

And, you, my dear, will stand guilty before a holy God for your part in their sin.

Oh, yes, guilty you are…even if you don’t want to believe it.

Ladies, we owe it to our brothers in Christ to make it easier on them. We owe it to the lost men to show them fruits of true Christianity.We owe it to our younger sisters to be an example of a faithful Christian maiden (or, depending on your age, a faithful Christian woman). Most importantly, we owe it to our Lord to obey Him.

If you’re one of the girls who has sinned this way, I ask you: please don’t do it this Summer. Enjoy yourself, yes; wear pretty clothes, absolutely. But please wear clothes that cover you. For the sake of your brothers in Christ, for the sake of the young Christian man who is just coming to terms with his manhood (and is trying to remain pure in thought for his future lady), for the sake of the lost, for the sake of the girls whose future husbands you just might be causing to sin, for the sake of my sons and for your sake, dear one, please keep your clothes on. We don’t need to see all of what you’ve got to display.

Posted in video

Modesty by Al Martin

A dear brother in Christ suggested that I recommend the following video to you. I do so readily.

This is the audio link:

Thank you, brother Hartman!

Posted in Authentic Christianity, Christianity, discernment

The Modern Modesty Question

1 Timothy 2: 9, 10,  “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,  but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” 

Luke 6: 46, “And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?”

John 14: 15, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”

Modesty has fallen out of style because the church has married the world. Being modest in our lives and in our clothing is a commandment. Dare we tell God that we love Him if we aren’t willing to obey Him in all things, including in the way we dress? We are God’s people, the bride of Christ. We are to be holy–that is, set apart unto God. Let’s live like it.

Ladies, men are vision driven. We have a responsibility to help our brothers to live a holy life. We must not cause them to stumble by our words, by our actions, by our deeds or by our clothing.

I’ve heard young women say that if they were wearing a bikini and a guy lusted after them, it was his problem and his alone. These young ladies suggested that guys should simply avert their eyes when confronted with their near-nakedness. Yes, men have to take responsibility for their actions and if they give into lust, God holds them accountable. However, if you as a woman have dressed in such a way as to cause a man to lust, God will hold you accountable, also. Luke 17: 1, 2 says, “Then he said unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than he should offend one of these little ones.” God takes our responsibilities as His children seriously. We ought to, also. As Christian women, we have got to realize what our immodesty does to guys:  we can cause our brothers in Christ to stumble; by doing so, we  mar our witness and blaspheme God’s holy name.

I’ve seen my sons have to repeatedly advert their eyes while standing among the ladies at church. This ought not to be. Women have a responsibility to men. These men who might struggle when confronted with your improper dress, they are your brothers in Christ. God will not take it lightly if you cause them to sin. There are many, many men out there like my sons who want to go to church and be free from things that will tempt them so that they can be free to simply worship the Lord. Help them.

We do not belong to ourselves, we belong to God. It is God alone that we must please. I Corinthians 6: 20 says, “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” Everything about our lives should glorify our Savior. A woman’s clothes ought to frame her face and not her body. Ladies, our clothing should show that we are women of God rather than suggest that we are on display for men to enjoy. It is a sin for your clothing to shout, “Look at me!”.

Immodesty is a sin. Men are looking at you and they are undressing you with their eyes. Men are feasting on you with their eyes. They are sinning because of you. You are partakers in their sin because you are setting them up for it. God will hold you responsible. If you dress in such a way that men will lust after you–it is your fault and your problem when they lust. If your clothes show off your belly, your hips, your breasts (by clinging to them or displaying them), it doesn’t shout, “I’m a Christian. I’m a godly woman.” It shouts, “I’m on display. Look at me! Enjoy what you see!”

I know this sounds harsh, ladies, but someone has got to say it. I speak out because I love you. I care for your souls. I care what you are doing to the holy name of God. I care that men can’t come to worship their Lord without fearing that their sisters in Christ will dress in such a way that they have to avert their eyes. I care that the witness that you are giving to the lost says, “My God doesn’t have any standards. Just come to Him and you can do what you want.” God has standards so high that, were it not for the blood of Christ and the grace of God none of us would be able to stand before Him. Don’t abuse Him. Don’t prostitute yourselves with the world. Don’t sin.

Please think about this: what kind of example do you want to be? If you desire to be known as a woman of God then don’t dress like a harlot. Think about your daughters. What kind of example are you being to them? And, what are you allowing them to wear? Are men, young and old, undressing them with their eyes? Does that not bother you? Does it not break your heart that men are stumbling because of what you allow your daughters to wear?

It’s not too late to change. I beg you, go through your closet and drawers. Get rid of anything that is sheer, tight, revealing, cut too low or cut too high. Don’t give them away so as to cause someone else to stumble, throw them away.

Modesty begins in the heart. A modest woman will exhibit qualities such as gentleness and humility (Colossians 3: 12). She will not strive to be “front and center” and gather attention for herself. Her clothing, like everything about her, will point to God.