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The Cross Is All We Need

"Weak, feeble and foolish as it may seem to people, the simple story of the Cross is enough for all mankind in every part of the globe." ~ J.C. Ryle

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godly men

Open Letter to an Unmarried Woman: On Choosing a Godly Man

Dear Unmarried Woman of God,

Perhaps you dream of marriage, of the joining of hearts and souls as you and your beloved become one; most young ladies do. Before you choose the one you will marry, the one you will give yourself to, the one you will submit to, I beg you to study what the Word of God has to say about marriage and proceed prayerfully. A marriage made up of two people who love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, strength and mind is as near to heaven on earth as it is possible to come. A marriage made up of one of God’s children and a child of the devil is a pain nearly unequaled in its intensity.

A child of the devil? some of you might say, You don’t know my Peter.

No, I don’t. But I don’t have to know your Peter (or your Dave or Brian or Kevin) to warn you: if he isn’t a child of God, he is a child of the devil. There are no other options, no in-betweens. As the child of the devil, his goals, desires, hopes, longings, plans, ways, thoughts, words and deeds will be different from those of a child of God.

If you choose to marry a non-Christian, you will hurt every single day of every single year of your married life. He may be good to you. He may provide well. He may be a really good husband and a wonderful father. But he isn’t saved. Therefore you will hurt as he chooses ways that are contrary to the ways of God. You will ache as you cry out to God for his salvation. You will cry as he influences your children in ways that will break your heart. When you lower your standards for the kind of man you are willing to spend time with, you are lowering your standards for the kind of man you wish to one day marry. You are also lowering your standards for the kind of man you wish to have as the father of your children. You cannot afford to forget this.

Don’t look for a cute guy or a popular one. Don’t choose a guy simply because he makes you feel good about yourself, because he makes you laugh or because he treats you well. Look for a man who truly loves God. If your man truly loves God Himself, God as He is revealed in Scripture, and not simply his own concept of God, he will most assuredly love you. He will treat you far, far better than a child of the devil ever could. He will treat your children far, far better than you can now even begin to imagine. Your choice of a husband will impact your family for generations to come.

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you look for a man of God:

  • Does he love God above all? Instead of all? Or does he love money, self, fame, comfort or anything or anyone else–including you–more than he loves God?
  • Does he long to know God and to please God? Does his life reflect Christ? Is he spiritually mature? Does he show the fruits of the Spirit?
  • Does he daily study the Word of God? Does he understand God’s Word?
  • Is he able and willing to be the spiritual head of his family?
  • Does he understand marriage? Does he understand submission and headship? Is his view biblical, liberal or legalistic?
  • Is he willing to put his wife above his children and his family above his work?
  • Does he know how to relax? Does relaxation take its proper place in relationship to faith, family and work?
  • Does he “need” entertainment to be happy? Is he addicted to anything? Gaming? Cokes? Candy? Food? Fun? Danger? Sleep? Spending? Work?
  • Is he lazy or is he a hard worker? Is he willing to do menial jobs to help bring in money if needed? Is he willing to do them for his family or for others simply because they need to be done?
  • Is he prideful? Does he apologize when he’s been in the wrong?
  • Does he protect your purity? Does he push you to compromise? Does he make fun of your standards?
  • Does he encourage you to be modest both inside and out? Is he modest? Are his standards biblical, legalistic or liberal?
  • Does he lead you to worship? Or does he cause you to stumble?
  • How does he handle money? Does he know how to budget? Is he willing to budget?
  • How does he treat the weak, the needy, the hurting, the sick, the aged, the young?
  • How does he treat his family? How does he treat his mother and sisters?
  • How is he with strangers? How does he treat animals?
  • Does he treat  you with kindness even when he is tired or has had a bad day?
  • Does he guide you to obedience to God? Is he obedient to God or does he make excuses for himself?
  • Does he eschew legalism and liberalism in his theology? Does he understand grace?
  • Is he a praying man? Does he pray much and often? Does he pray with you?
  • How does he behave himself as a man? a son? a worker? friend?
  • Does he know and care what God demands of husbands and fathers?
  • Does he love the church? Does he enjoy being with God’s people?
  • Does he ache over the lost? Does he look for chances to share the Gospel? Does he make chances to share the Gospel?
  • Is he industrious and a self-starter?
  • Does he make excuses for his failures? Does he blame others? Does he accept responsibility for himself?
  • Is he easily angered? Is he jealous? Is he self-centered?
  • Does he display selfishness? Is he selfless? Is he a servant to others?
  • Does he want children? Is he mature enough to lead them?
  • Can he be trusted to lead his family well?
  • Is he truthful or does he lie? Is he a man of integrity, a man who can be trusted always…and in all ways?
  • Is he looking for a woman who exemplifies Titus 2 and Proverbs 31? Is he worthy of that kind of woman?

Choosing the man you will marry is one of the most important choices you will ever make. Hold out for a man of God and you will choose wisely.

Your sister,

Anna

Prince Charming VS A Real Man & Finding Romance in Christ by Elisha Strickland


To me prince charming is a man who looks good on the outside but on the inside is full of lust and deciet and will only do a woman harm, he will promise you everything including changing his ways, but inside he just wants to use you and throw you out with the garbage. Is this the kind of man  you have in mind to marry?
A real man is a man who sees the needs of others weaker than him and is able to compassionately fufill them or give it his best shot. He is kingly and gives his service as much as his orders. He is easily given to falling on his knees when he needs to talk to his LORD. He may fear many things but God is his comfort, shield and the giver of his strength and courage. He knows when to use his sword and when to put it away. He may not be able to give me the world, but he often talks with the Creator of the world and to me that is all that I need.

Where Are All Of The Good Women?

Several times through the years I’ve heard the question, “Where are all of the good men?” More than once, I’ve heard women and young ladies say, “I’m looking but I can’t find them.” To  you, I pose my own question, “Where are all of the good women?”

I have one of the good men right here in my home (and others coming along behind him). My oldest son is a good and godly young man who has never given himself over to modern culture, who isn’t swayed by peer pressure, who has never dated. One who, by the age of 13, strongly felt the need to prepare to be a godly leader, a good husband, a great dad. Though a man by all standards, he is a good son. He comes home at night (yes, he still lives at home) and lives a quite life. He’s a man who loves God and is preparing to preach His Word with boldness and grace; a man who has been thought strange because he prepares for the young lady who will be his wife…and waits. More than one person has tried to set him up on a date, almost everybody is shocked by the fact that he has never dated (never even came close) but still he waits for the one God has for him.

His desire is for a woman who loves God more than she loves him. He’s got his heart set on a woman of the Word who is also a woman of prayer. He is waiting for a young lady whose life is counter-cultural because it is based on Truth. And, as a great big bonus, he’d really love a young lady who can cook (and do it well)! As a bonus for her–when he finds her–he can cook, too! (This guy likes good food!)

You young ladies who ask, “Where are all of the good men?”…I’ve got several of them right here, in training, waiting for you. There are other Mamas just like me, raising up our boys, teaching them to live for God, to value purity and goodness and to wait for a woman who does likewise. All around us is a sea of immodestly dressed, sold-out-to-the-culture, live-for-the-moment, life-is-for-fun, girls. Many of these girls claim to be Christian but they aren’t living it. A lot of them are asking where the good guys are, wondering why one hasn’t snatched them up. If this is the kind of girl you are, please understand: this kind of girl isn’t the kind a truly godly young man wants. If you remain on this pathway, you aren’t going to get one of the treasures.

If you want one of the good men, one who is preparing to be a godly man, a good husband for you, then prepare yourself to be a good and godly woman and wife for him. Don’t go looking for them and don’t panic (let them find you). Wait, prepare, trust God. They’re there. I’ve got several of them right here (of course, some are pretty young yet…five and nine are way too young to be husband material…but one day). Some of mine are ready, some are getting ready and some are still playing with trucks and trains but one day…one day…each and every one of them is going to make some young lady a really, really good husband. Because my sons are good, godly men (or good-and-godly-men-in-training) they are, or will be, worthy of good and godly wives. They aren’t perfect but they are forgiven and they are grateful for grace. They are God’s men, God’s boys. And they are preparing…for you…to serve you, love you, to lead you. They are preparing to be a husband to the glory of God.

Are you likewise preparing? Are you willing to separate yourself from the culture and wait for the one God is preparing for you? Are you preparing, through a life given to God, to study, to prayer, to be a good and godly wife when the time comes? Are you preparing to be a wife to the glory of God?

Will you be prepared to be one of the good women these good men will be looking for?

Meanwhile my oldest son continues to prepare and to wait…as do his younger brothers, as do other godly young men…for the one who, by God’s grace, is preparing and waiting for him.

A Call For Godly Men

A few months back, in response to my article “The Christian Life Is Like…a Box Of Chocolates?” I received the following reply. It touched me and I contacted the writer, Al Hartman, and asked permission to quote him. He  graciously granted it.

“Perhaps (judging by the described table conversation) the ladies got what they expected, which would be very sad. But the root problem lies not with the ladies themselves, but with the men of the church of our Lord Jesus Christ, who both teach and display the example of faithful living for all the people of God. Generally speaking, when professing Christian men congregate in a manner similar to that Anna describes, they talk is sports, cars, careers, kids in college, etc. Ministry in such gatherings is weak at best and too often farcical. Men who ought to be leading their homes in discipleship have settled for regarding the church as a social club.

Now this abdication by men shouldn’t keep women from being godly, but without God-ordained leadership from husbands and fathers women aren’t rightly instructed in godliness.

We men look to the leaders of the church for our living examples of Christian thought, speech and behavior. Sadly, there is scarcely anything exemplary to be found in todays pulpits– not none, but far too little. We have the Scriptures of course, and the biographies and writings of men of God through church history, but few alive today are instructing us in what and how to read and study.

We need preachers and teachers who so trust God for their livelihoods that they are unafraid to call sin by its name and to instruct, exhort and admonish the faithful, without concern for loss of attendance numbers or income. The “church building fund” should be comprised of Scriptures, not dollars, for the church is made up of God’s children, not of construction materials.”

Men of God, it is time to bow down to pray and then rise up to lead God’s people in the ways of godliness. We have been without an abundance of godly leadership for so long. Much of what has poured forth from our pulpits and from our homes has been a strange mix of feminism, gnosticism and paganistic self-help and has led us on the pathways of death. It is time for a change. Now is the moment for action; it is now that God’s Truth must be proclaimed. Bury yourself in the Word and teach us from the over-flow. Spend the night watches alone with God. You only lead well when you lead from your knees.

Whether in the pulpit or at home, your sisters in Christ need you to take a stand for the Truth of God’s Word. We need to hear it boldly proclaimed. Teach us that God takes His holiness serious; help us to do the same. Be an example of pious living. Teach us to be faithful to our Lord so that we might hate sin. Show us how to pray continuously. Help us to love God’s holy Word and to rightly divide it by comparing Scripture with Scripture. Reintroduce expository preaching. Let us know that each verse of Scripture has a meaning; help us to find it and understand it. Remind us that when we get away from the Word of God, we get away from God Himself.

Teach us to pray. Help us to hunger for the presence of God. Explain to us that prayer isn’t just intercession and that it is much, much more involved than an acronym could ever cover. Show us how to carry everything to the throne of God and then, trusting Him, leave it there. Show us how to praise Him, love Him, hunger for Him. Teach us to just be with Him. Show us that praying continuously is not only possible but wonderful. Teach us to wait before God.

We need to hear that you care about being the husbands and fathers God has commanded you to be. Our young men need a guide; it can be you. Teach them to pursue God before they pursue anything else. Teach them to be men of God, to be godly husbands and fathers, to be leaders of God’s people. Teach them to boldly take a stand for righteousness. Encourage the older men to do the same; encourage them to be teachers whom the younger men can respect. Don’t be afraid to speak out just because no one else does so. Every movement of God had a beginning; let it start with you. Without you, we will continue to fail.

Satan has lied about womanhood and we have listened. We are listening no longer. We hear the Voice of our Shepherd and we are following. We need your prayers for us as we seek to become godly women and embrace the life that was meant to be ours. We need you to preach, to teach, to guide us in the area of biblical womanhood. The world that hates us for being what God has called us to be; we need to hear that our efforts at rediscovering godly femininity are appreciated. Teach us the worthiness of our roles. Teach us that modesty must flow from a heart that is set aside for God. Teach us to take a stand for truth. Show us that virtuous womanhood means much to you and even more to God. Don’t be afraid to be strong.

O brothers, we are counting on you. We cannot do this alone. We can take back our homes and our churches one man, one woman, one family at a time. Women can be the examples to their families and to other women but if we seek to take the leadership in their families or in the churches we will once more be sinning. The onus to lead is on you–the man of God. Please, I beg you, take it seriously.