Posted in Anna Wood, Celebrations

For Moms Who Have to Stand in for Absent, Negligent or Abusive Dads: Thank You and Happy Father’s Day

It’s Father’s Day and the card companies would have us believe all is well in America. They want to sell cards, of course, and today is a good day for that. Some adult kids who have ignored their dad all year will placate their screaming conscience by picking up a card, signing it, and sending it off in the mail to dear old pop, still pretending that’s all they have time to do. Some adult kids won’t make time to do even that. Selfishness is rampant in American society today. But others are going to celebrate Father’s Day by celebrating the father who has given his time, his love, and the moments of his life for them. They will do all that they can for the man who did all that he could for them. And that’s as it should be.

But what if there is no dad to celebrate? Some have gone on before, of course, but being good men, will be lovingly remembered today. Some are still very much alive and just simply don’t care to show up. Men who can’t keep their pants zipped but are more than willing to keep their wallet tightly closed come to mind. Others may be very much there in the home but, through cruelty or neglect, have separated themselves from their children’s hearts. And others may be out of the picture because the Mom finally said, “No more” to his abuse or neglect.

I don’t remember one single father’s day with my dad. He was a drunk, and he was abusive, and we spent my young childhood in fear of him when he was in our home, and running from him the rest of the time. My mom later had her own issues, but at this time, and for many years afterwards, she did everything for me that my father, had he cared, would have done. She provided for me, she loved me, she raised me, she labored over me day and night. If my dad had ever shown up as a real dad, she would have had things a lot simpler but he didn’t, so she didn’t. But she did it anyway. Because that’s what a good Mom does.

So Happy Father’s Day to all of the Moms out there who have had to go the second, third, and fiftieth extra mile because your spouse wouldn’t. You deserve a great big hug today, and so much more. Maybe your children see your sacrifice and love you for it–some kids of abusive dads realize all that their moms have had to fight against just to keep everything going–and maybe your children, because of their youth or because they are blinded to it somehow, don’t–some kids in abusive situations, due to lies told and believed, due to their own pain, just don’t see all that their moms have done for them. But, know this, the Lord sees. When you, Mom, go all out, to the end of your strength and beyond, for your children, because you love them, and, more importantly, because you are seeking to obey the Lord, the Lord sees and will bless you for it, even if your children never do.

So today, I wish you, the tired Moms, the exhausted Moms, the Moms who have had to do all that they had to do as Mom and all that Dad should have done but didn’t, and have done so while struggling against extremely difficult circumstances, and have done so alone, except for God, Happy Father’s Day. You deserve it.

Soli Deo gloria!


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