Colossians 3: 17, And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
What’s the most important thing you can teach your daughter? Think about it for a minute. If you could take every single thing you want her to know and put it in a list, what would be the number one thing?
There’s only one thing that really and truly matters: That she know Christ–not our view of Christ, not her understanding of Christ, not what the world says about Christ but Christ Himself, as Scripture reveals Him.
Raising daughters is not about following a formula or checking off a list. We’ve turned many of our daughters away from Christ by failing to teach them that truth. That truth is, it’s all about Him. Training our daughters to be keepers at home, to love their husbands and children, to cook and clean and be modest are all good and right but by emphasizing what they must learn instead of focusing on Christ we just might be hardening their hearts against it all. Life is about Jesus but we’ve inadvertently made it about our beliefs, about programs and to-do lists. We want our daughters to learn what we want them to learn; we want them to please us, to look good and do well. We want them to reflect our standards and sometimes we work on that so very much that we forget it is Christ they are suppose to reflect–not us. We’ve looked at Proverbs 31 and Titus 2, broken them down, examined them every which-a-way, made a list, proceeded to follow the list to teach our girls and checked items off as they are taught. Teach them to love their husbands and children? Check. To clean house? Check. To handle money? Check. To organize their house? Check. Much like checking off a Christmas list.
Following a list and checking it off, even one taken directly from Scripture, without the emphasis being on Christ and without full context of Scripture to explain it, leads us to sin. If we’re not teaching our daughters the why and Who of being godly women, we’re not really teaching them to be godly at all.
Christ is to be the reason for everything we believe, teach, do or say. Everything starts with Him, points to Him and comes back to Him. Anything else is sin. If He’s not the reason for all that we’re teaching our daughters, no matter how good or comprehensive our list, we aren’t teaching them anything of eternal value.
I applaud women who want to raise their daughters to embrace their femininity and train them to be keepers at home. I want that for my daughters too. In a world gone mad, we need a few more good women who understand who God made them to be and why, who want to marry, have children and stay at home with them. But if they are doing it because “this is what my parents taught me” or “to please my husband” or “because I want to” then they aren’t doing it first and foremost for Christ and they won’t be making an impact for eternity. The most important thing, above and beyond what they end up doing with their lives, is always that they know and obey Christ and grow in obedience to Him.
In the end, the eternal value of reflecting Christ in all that we are and do far outweighs getting down any list. It’s good to know how to cook, clean, sew, garden, and raise children. It’s good to strive to honor our husbands, love our children and pass down domestic skills. I believe it honors God for women to use their talents to bless their families and others. I believe that it pleases God when a godly wife sees her home and her family as her most important calling. But if in doing so or if in teaching our daughters such, we aren’t first and foremost teaching them the why and the Who behind it, we’ve failed and we’ve ensured their failure.
Jesus is the reason for everything. He’s the reason we live, breathe and have our being. He’s therefore the reason that we are to teach young ladies to exemplify Proverbs 31, Titus 2 or any other part of Scripture. And that, Mamas, is the most important thing we can teach our daughters.